she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
