u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
