Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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