Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
