I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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