nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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