Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Boobs speak an international language.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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