ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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