no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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