Will you blow on my dice?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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