READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
sex in a hospital.. check
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
