CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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