for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
a search helicopter?!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
