i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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