At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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