a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
