I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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