The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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