i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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