Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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