We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
