you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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