Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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