Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
