Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize