these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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