There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
