my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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