Don't you send me to vm
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
