yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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