4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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