I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
