So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was confusing and full of hummus
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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