Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
