I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
