my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
