Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize