Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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