I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
