i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
