cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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