how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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