He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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