Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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