I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
