I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
