the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
