To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
