No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
