My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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