I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
