I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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