I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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