she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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