So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I won't apologize to a one balled man
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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