Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
