Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
