Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Don't make out with my wife yet
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
