I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
did i walk over a car last night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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