You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
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He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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