hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
