sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
