THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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