you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
