i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize