Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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