is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
is it fun? or sober?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
