I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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