So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
