If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
