Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
